The article “Social costs of Anger” highlight the ways in which anger can have detrimental effects on interpersonal relationships. The article is written to show how, while anger is usually seen to cause physical effects on one’s health, it also weighs emotionally and socially on one’s life. It highlights how anger causes hostility and depression which in turn creates tension and reduced intimacy between families, peers and colleagues. According to the article, anger has the power to create a pessimistic attitude towards one’s own life as well as towards those around you that will create a barrier between people, affecting social interaction which is a vital part for the development of human life. This strong emotion can also lure people into developing bad health habits that will affect their physical health. It also highlights how there is very little toleration for expressing aggressive anger in society in the present age and stresses on the importance of being able to control one’s emotion in a healthy way.
The article connects to the topic in a way that highlights the main problem of anger’s effect on interpersonal communication. The anti-social attitude that is created by anger, which is highlighted in this article ties in well with the findings regarding my topic. An important point that can be obtained from the article is that even though anger creates a direct isolation in terms of hostility, the bad habits that are also developed as a result of anger such as drinking, smoking and excessive drug use as a coping mechanism could also create isolation among individuals.
An interesting piece of information gathered from this article is the ability to understand that the interpersonal relationships affected by this emotion are not just limited but vary from something as small as a intimate husband and wife relationship to something as big in terms of society such as motorist on the road to which one’s display or unhealthy anger could land him in jail, or their boss, to whom one’s display of aggressive anger would get them fired, resulting in unemployment.
Mills, Harry. “Social Costs of Anger” MentalHelp.net, https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/social-costs-of-anger/. Accessed on 28 May, 2019.
An article by Longina Strumska- Cylwik titled “Expression of Fear and Anger in the context of Interpersonal Communication” gives an outline of how these emotions have an effect on different parts of human life and its association with interpersonal relationships. It was written to draw conclusions of how such emotions that are commonly viewed as negative by society, are not really “bad emotions” but are just bad in the manner in which they are expressed. The article expresses how such emotions are viewed, especially anger, that is influenced heavily by culture, because while some view anger as a healthy emotion, most cultures view it as harmful for both individuals themselves as well as those around them, sometimes even creating situations that fuel such emotion. The article also draws connections of such emotions to biology that play a role in the cause of the emotion, as well as the need for personal contact among humans that play a role in developing these emotions.
The article then moves on to talking about how individuals express these emotions in different forms and how there is a significant manner in which men and women deal with such emotions and how they chose to express them. It states that, while it is common for men and women to be less likely to share their emotions with others outwardly and instead bottle them up, it is more likely for women to feel guilt and shame when associated with anger, where as men find it easier to express anger in physical or verbal forms. This also leads to ways in which men and women find different ways to cope with this emotion in a healthy manner.
With the help of research, the article outlines various causes for anger that are combined with other feelings such as stress, feelings of powerlessness in situations of failure and feelings of conflict and being threatened which fuel the emotion further and result in damaged interpersonal relationships. The research also points out that there are two important ways that people use to deal with their anger and that is my isolating themselves in order to avoid any serious negative consequences as a result of anger or explosive behavior which usually results in verbal or physical harm to others. Either way, the article highlights how being angry can mentally pressurize individuals to withdraw from society with the inability to cope with their emotion and draw people away from interpersonal relationships, that go hand in hand with research that supports my topic.
What I found particularly interesting from this article is the importance it placed on personal contact in order to express this emotion. Even though the main focus revolved around the safe environment personal contact creates for the development of emotions, especially between mother and child, I found it interesting as to how it can also relate to the importance of personal contact for a healthy lifestyle and how vital it is for emotions such as anger to be controlled in a healthy manner so that it does not affect personal contact among individuals.
Strumska- Cylwik, Longina. “Expression of Fear and Anger in the context of Interpersonal Communication” International Journal of Arts & Science, 7(1):173–200 (2014). http://www.pdfs.semanticscholar.org/eb73/fe0a60ce2bd86f178616ff8184ac8f6718db.pdf
In the article from Psychology Today.com
entitled The Lingering
Psychological Effects of Multiple Sex Partners, author Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D. highlights the topic of multiple
sex partners under the context of a 30-year study and the potential mental
consequences thereof. The author begins by informing the reader on the contents
of past studies relating to mental
health and the number of sex partners, even detailing the affect substance and alcohol
plays. The findings from those studies appear to show that the relation is,
according to the author, “correlational in nature”, and as a result, it’s difficult
to recognize whether individuals seek sexual partners in an effort to ‘self-medicate’”,
that is, to “reduce the emotional pain they are experiencing, by seeking sexual
connections with others, even if fleeting”.
I chose this article because
it touches on the physical, carnal aspect of love and the harmful affects it
has on individuals, not only being able to form and sustain meaningful relationships,
but even potentially leading to substance use and abuse. The article asserts
that casual sex relationships can include relational risk as these
relationships “may be particularly likely to be impersonal, lacking in the
potential to provide emotional fulfillment” and as a result, “people having a
string of these relationships may turn to the self medication provided by
alcohol or drugs…to cope with feelings of loneliness and despair”.
This article establishes the authors’ pre-conceived premises about certain human behavior then goes into how pride might affect the interpersonal communication of that person. He explains how pride would be a deterrent towards taking a risk. The overly prideful person would be content to remain in the station at which the level of pride cannot be altered. A risk would introduce the opportunity of failure, a failure too big would be more than that person would be able to bare. Therefore small risks are the only way to live for this overly prideful person. In his opinion pride also inhibits the ability to be vulnerable, from where trust comes from. To the overly prideful person vulnerability is a weakness, placing him/herself on a pedestal were that weakness in never on display would the logical outcome for this person.
The author of the article does a good job of trying to correlate both pride and risk taking but doesn’t draw on any scientific research to state definitively that he is correct. It does make, on face value, logical sense but his definition of pride would be rejected by some. His opinion on vulnerability and pride also hinges on his definition of pride, while his line of thinking makes sense like his other conclusion it isn’t grounded in any scientific research.
This article compares pride to a wall. He introduces the idea of how that wall might start of thin but get thicker and thicker as you allow it to mold your relationships. He explained how pride can be extremely toxic when it begins to dominate your personality. Not allowing yourself to be seen as the “loser”, or choosing not to communicate your feelings because your pride wont allow it, is how he sees pride as a wall. It begins to separate the person from reality into one where he/she can safely maneuver the ego which that wall has helped create. He gave a personal anecdote about his uncle, and how his pride allowed him to safe face all the way to his death bed, but with no one around to see it. He writes that pride is the biggest cause of loneliness.
This article rests its conclusions on the authors personal anecdotes. His friends relationship, his lonely uncle and his own intimate problems with his wife. While its not enough to gain an understating on how pride might affect a broad swath of relationships, for example worker boss relationships, his anecdotes shine a well articulated light on some of the complexities that might arise in our own more personal relationships. I found it interesting how he explained how once an ego comes to define a person, it starts to suffocate any relationship that doesn’t pierce said ego. The fact that he pivoted to his uncle on his death bed, dying alone but proud, gave a powerful example that hit home for me.
In the article from Psychology Today.com
entitled Loving Two People at the Same Time, Aaron Ben-Zeev Ph.D. brings
attention to the topic of individuals in relationships engaging in multiple
love affairs. The professor of Philosophy at the University of Haifa gives account
of two women, Esther and Iris, and the backstory of their open extramarital
affairs. “We did it openly. My husband
even supported it for a while and the three of us lived together”, quotes Iris
who recounts the open relationship. From first read the article seems to condone,
even, promote the current trend of open relationships, but later in the article
we see a change in perspective from the two women interviewed on the topic. “I
don’t like having three men from which to choose. I liked the simplicity of one”
admits Iris while Esther is quoted as saying “I subscribe to Romantic
Ideology. I want the Perfect Guy…or one slightly imperfect guy”. Here we see
that despite whatever excitement or thrill is brought from this lifestyle,
these individuals seek the solidarity of
a monogamous relationship.
I found the perspective interesting
in the latter portion of the article as the author, in trying to explain why
certain individuals can love multiple people at the same time, informs the
reader on the nature of emotions as they relate to love. “Despite such
testimonies” writes Ben-Zeev, “it is not obvious how to explain this phenomenon
as emotions are typically partial and exclusive. This is especially so in
romantic love which requires a lot of energy and resources”. He later goes on
to exclaim, “the issue here is psychological, as it generates profound
emotional dissonance. The dissonance stems from the fact that by definition,
emotions demand partiality, that is, the preference of one over another, which
entails some sort of exclusivity”. The author suggests that in expressing romantic
love to an individual, we as human want to establish exclusivity. I feel this
info, and this article as a whole, is very supportive of my point that
excessive feelings of love is harmful to meaningful relationships and makes
them very hard to achieve.