Solutions

The research I came across didn’t really offer a way to clinically diagnose someone who is overly proudful and offer some sort of remedy. Pride is an attribute that has both positive and negative consequences. The negative consequences could be subjective in the degree to which they are bad for a person, but there is a consensus in society that they are bad, everywhere from family relations, to business relations, to romantic relations can be affected negatively. It is also an attribute cautioned against amongst some of societies’ most well know institutions, like most worldwide religions. The articles I read didn’t offer a simplified method of solving pride itself, rather the solutions they offered came in the form of lessons gleaned from other peoples experience. The pride that allowed the angry boyfriend to not call his girlfriend after a fight. The pride that estranged the uncle from his children. The pride that didn’t allow the brothers to reconcile after a heated argument. The common thread that these stories had in common was that the people in these stories would rather save face and keep their “pride” rather than make amends. Because pride let them feel assertive and in control it offered them reassurance. The immediate solution for these people would’ve been to come to a self-realization that their pride was negatively affecting them. Would a self-realization in itself solve the communication problem they were having? Probably not, but it would’ve acted as a productive first step in confronting the issue. The solution that I would offer given what I read, is the simple act of being aware of when pride is holding you back. Be self-conscious enough to know when your pride begins to define your personality rather than a passive composition of your makeup.

Develop a Research Plan

With this research I intended to discover if pride effects a persons communication. I intent to conduct a survey with a list of four questions at my local mall. I intend to conduct this survey during the morning, my rationale there is maybe people have a little coffee in their system which makes them more responsive. I intend to involve 6 people, 3 men and 3 women from any age group. I suspect the mall doesn’t like people using their premises to conduct a survey but I didn’t get their permission. The answers to the questions are set from a 1 to 10 scale, after the survey is done I intend to see if there’s a pattern in the scales.

Conduct & Compile Research

My survey consisted of four questions

  • Do you have good communication skills? 1-10
  • Do you allow pride to affect your communication? 1-10
  • How intensely do you feel pride? 1-10
  • Would you consider yourself open to criticism? 1-10
  • Person 1. 3, 7, 3, 9 Male age 25
  • person 2. 10, 0, 8, 9 Male age 32
  • person 3. 10, 5, 7, 0 Male age 31
  • person 4. 9, 1, 3, 7 women age 52
  • person 5. 10, 0, 10, 10 girl age 12
  • person 6. 8, 2, 5, 7 women age 27

I was expecting that if the number in question 2 was high then the answer in question 4 would be small based on the research I did. But no one in the survey except person one admitted to allowing pride to affect his communication. And even he said he was open to criticism even though he allowed pride to affect his communication. The only other conclusion I can draw is that even though these people felt pride intensely for the most part it didn’t shape their communication with others.

Causes of overly Prideful Communication

The definition of pride that carries a negative connotation happens in people who are foolish and irrationally corrupt about one’s personal value, status or accomplishments. Pride is known by phycologists as a complex secondary emotion that requires the development of a sense of self and the ability to distinguish between other emotions, like joy and sadness. What this entails is sense of superiority with others while communicating . The root causes for an overly prideful person could be because of praise received by the person that the person mistakes for unanimous praise by a large group. Or perhaps just an independent appraisal. Researches believe that once communication breaks down because of pride it leads to a toxic cycle. Within a family it can create a schism that is hard to repair if it leads to a prolonged period of tension. Pride has been identified in almost every holy book as a vice. It has existed for as long as human societies have been around. And it will continue to be around for as long as we continue to live.

Pride & Problems

Pride in relationships is a problem because its where effective communication goes to die. Miscommunication, a heated tone, a sarcastic comment, or a dismissive hand gesture are all points of friction in communication between people that require clarification. Miscommunication requires you to ask more questions, a heated tone requires you to perhaps be understanding and ask why he/she might be angry, a sarcastic comment might’ve been meant as a harmless joke, and a dismissive hand gesture could be frustration on the other persons part rather than outright dismissiveness. To the overly prideful person none of these options would present themselves as an effective solution to these points of friction. Miscommunication? Well, it was the other persons job to listen not mine. Heated tone? I can scream louder! Sarcastic comment? I can be way more sarcastic. Dismissive hand gesture? I have my own offense hand gesture! Pride provides solutions to communication problems even if they are not exactly the correct ones, which makes it all the more destructive. Once a person make a habit of allowing pride to shut down any criticism or lapse in communication it becomes a habit that’s hard to break. And that’s why it persists in societies. Pride gives a quick and assertive method of solving a problem, there’s no need to delve into a subject and really understand it when your pride wont let you. It exists at all levels of society, from the haggard working class, to CEO’s, to those occupying the executive branch, pride is universal.

Article Reviews Josue Acosta

This article establishes the authors’ pre-conceived premises about certain human behavior then goes into how pride might affect the interpersonal communication of that person. He explains how pride would be a deterrent towards taking a risk. The overly prideful person would be content to remain in the station at which the level of pride cannot be altered. A risk would introduce the opportunity of failure, a failure too big would be more than that person would be able to bare. Therefore small risks are the only way to live for this overly prideful person. In his opinion pride also inhibits the ability to be vulnerable, from where trust comes from. To the overly prideful person vulnerability is a weakness, placing him/herself on a pedestal were that weakness in never on display would the logical outcome for this person.

The author of the article does a good job of trying to correlate both pride and risk taking but doesn’t draw on any scientific research to state definitively that he is correct. It does make, on face value, logical sense but his definition of pride would be rejected by some. His opinion on vulnerability and pride also hinges on his definition of pride, while his line of thinking makes sense like his other conclusion it isn’t grounded in any scientific research.

Link: https://stephenguise.com/two-ways-pride-can-ruin-your-life/

This article compares pride to a wall. He introduces the idea of how that wall might start of thin but get thicker and thicker as you allow it to mold your relationships. He explained how pride can be extremely toxic when it begins to dominate your personality. Not allowing yourself to be seen as the “loser”, or choosing not to communicate your feelings because your pride wont allow it, is how he sees pride as a wall. It begins to separate the person from reality into one where he/she can safely maneuver the ego which that wall has helped create. He gave a personal anecdote about his uncle, and how his pride allowed him to safe face all the way to his death bed, but with no one around to see it. He writes that pride is the biggest cause of loneliness.

This article rests its conclusions on the authors personal anecdotes. His friends relationship, his lonely uncle and his own intimate problems with his wife. While its not enough to gain an understating on how pride might affect a broad swath of relationships, for example worker boss relationships, his anecdotes shine a well articulated light on some of the complexities that might arise in our own more personal relationships. I found it interesting how he explained how once an ego comes to define a person, it starts to suffocate any relationship that doesn’t pierce said ego. The fact that he pivoted to his uncle on his death bed, dying alone but proud, gave a powerful example that hit home for me.

Link: https://thefallingthoughts.com/2015/07/07/ego-and-pride-how-does-it-really-effect-our-lives/